Black Hole

The fear that pulses through these veins
It's like a poison
It makes you ill, paranoid, terrified.

I've never known a better enemy nor friend.

Have you tried to break yourself?
But really you just wanted to operate the pain out.

We use destructive methods,
When we can't figure out accurate ones.

Do you get bored with solutions?
You want one so bad,
But at the same time
You feed off of being so lost,
So hurt.
You really just want to know,
How much deeper
You can get.

How much more pain
You can take.

So you break yourself.

Why must we always discover the paths
With dead ends?
Circles.

You can't hit the breaks when you're afraid.
You have to speed into the terror, eyes wide open.

Walk straight this time,
Be brave next time.

Forgiveness

When the spinning stops,
When your head is up
From under the water
A new breath arrives.

You've only been running
Because you've been so afraid
Now you shut off, close the door
To the cave where you lay,
Where you have been.

I heard you say you're sorry
But so much lost trust
Will leave you.

When you're alone,
Amidst you're own battles
That's when you
Walked with regret.

Shut off, close the door.
To the cave where I lay.
That's where I've been
Darling,
Thats where I'll stay.

The Envy of Time

Please step away
From the shriveling cold
You know you're more
Than what you've settled for
Quietly moving
Because you don't know
When to slow down

I just needed to be held
Escape the world
Inside my head

And breathing
Only turns to fog
So please step away
From the shriveling cold
Kissed my lips
The wish I sold

Songs of Summer

Comes like waves
And falls from skies
Just a pain
We can't compromise

Held on tight and shortly
You were light
And I was free

Then you turned off inside
Left me here to wonder why
And I can't control
How we feel
But baby,
I wish you could tell me
If it was real
Everything we wanted
Everything we shared
Anything that's over now
Anything that's left you scared
Endings are beginnings
Started as we were leaving

Just a tangled web
With no words left...

The fifth

One day
Months ago
You opened my chest,
Stole it.

One day long ago
You bled me open
Dried me out.

Taught me, hurt me, left me, broke me.

Just as you break yourself.

And after every broken heart beat,
I love you ...

You will never know this.

The War Inside

I don't know how
To get up
And say hello

Hello
Life
Hello, world
I'm here.

Cause I'm not here
Not ready
Not wanting
To take on a day

Just want to collapse and fold
Just want to break down
Cry
Be done

See black
Not have to wait for another alarm

I'm filled with fire
And anger that flames
Filled with evil that shuts out
And hates
All the souls
All of love

I want to disappear
I want all the pain
I fear

So burn me up
And bleed me dry
Not a smile
Worth faking a try

Hurt me, crawl inside my head
And eat away at it
Echoing away at me

Medicated

Depression loves me
He wraps his arms around me
And tells me he'll never leave
He'll always be here
To consume me
Where as happiness and and her friends are temporary

But depression
He doesn't need to give me a shake
I just walk around
Unresponsive
I just walk around
In pieces
Because its too hard to be a whole

I need to bury myself now
Because I can't reach a destination
You're my best friend
Without any hesitation

You breathe your dark
Into my soul
And linger

You gave me a definition
You are who I am

Black with infinite depth and beyond

Where Am I

All in my mind
Fast forwarding to rewind
Uphill then decline
Can't explain
What's inside

Thoughts so loud
I can't see what's around
No matter how found
My hearts lost
No matter how happy
Those wings entail cost

And I'm getting heavy
No one to hear what's going on
In my head
All thoughts left unsaid

And I cannot escape
I am drowning
Wherever I lay
Wherever I stand
No comfort
No hand

Everything outside is beautiful
But Inside feels so dull
Everything hurts
Trapped and burning alive

But I'm
Alive
Inside
What feels like
A coffin
Waiting to be dug
And arrive to a light
On the other side

Morning Hues

I've heard you've lost
Your head in the clouds.

I heard you cannot speak
Out loud.

I heard you fell
From outer space.

I heard the Earth
Quiver and shake.

But if I were sent
To the edge of this world
I'd just dive off
And never swim back..

Crisis Intervention

I burn from the inside out
Blood tears out of my skin
Cause there's no other way out

Scrape and bleed
Cry, don't breathe

Life blinds
All you see

Stuck in moments that never last
You're just pieces of the past
And I can't distinguish what is real
So I cut myself enough to feel

My lungs are black and filled with death
They can never understand
The thoughts at best

Drowning without a voice to call
I'll drown forever, now
Broke the last wall.

Icicles

Sitting on
The street line
Side line
Green light

But everything is swerving
All just swerve away
I forget your appearance

Today is just a day.
Each day we melt away