Black Hole

The fear that pulses through these veins
It's like a poison
It makes you ill, paranoid, terrified.

I've never known a better enemy nor friend.

Have you tried to break yourself?
But really you just wanted to operate the pain out.

We use destructive methods,
When we can't figure out accurate ones.

Do you get bored with solutions?
You want one so bad,
But at the same time
You feed off of being so lost,
So hurt.
You really just want to know,
How much deeper
You can get.

How much more pain
You can take.

So you break yourself.

Why must we always discover the paths
With dead ends?
Circles.

You can't hit the breaks when you're afraid.
You have to speed into the terror, eyes wide open.

Walk straight this time,
Be brave next time.

Where Am I

All in my mind
Fast forwarding to rewind
Uphill then decline
Can't explain
What's inside

Thoughts so loud
I can't see what's around
No matter how found
My hearts lost
No matter how happy
Those wings entail cost

And I'm getting heavy
No one to hear what's going on
In my head
All thoughts left unsaid

And I cannot escape
I am drowning
Wherever I lay
Wherever I stand
No comfort
No hand

Everything outside is beautiful
But Inside feels so dull
Everything hurts
Trapped and burning alive

But I'm
Alive
Inside
What feels like
A coffin
Waiting to be dug
And arrive to a light
On the other side

Useless

My hands are shaking.

No, I can't find my grip.

I keep losing it.

I keep losing.

No, I don't feel anything.

I only feel pain.

Im turning numb.

I am fear,

I am anxiety,

I am concerned.

I am paranoia.

As thin as felt, and i'm beginning to tear.

Tear apart, break and fall.

I can't process.

I can't get over this hill thrown in front of me.

My hands are shaking.

My world is breaking.

My life is ending.

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