A Higher Consciousness

As I inhaled, the air swam into my lungs filling the spaces beside my heart. It made me feel lighter, almost free. Like petals falling off of a flower, letting go of the bud they once held onto.

I realized there are two worlds out here. The one we look at, eyes wide open. But there is a whole underground tunnel when you close your eyes. Inside your mind. It will guide you to places where colors can fly, where sky hangs in shades of pink, and people are not people. But rather floating, glittering miracles sitting in a light you can't find in reality. To get here you must be connected. You must believe. There is a gateway from the crown-at the top- of your head which extends into the Universe. Grab my hand, I'll take you.

This is no Peter Pan story, where a boy filled with dreams will come through your window and take you to Neverland. But I imagine that story could have came from the same place I'm talking about. Maybe I should ask the author.

The Time Align

It was a message that lay in my lap.
You held me and whispered apologies,
Words I longed to hear after wasted time.

The process of mixed feelings,
Like digesting sheet metal.

Impossible and homicidal.

I did't pull your clinging force away from me,
I stayed and held a burned out fire.
Our forces were rekindled magnets from the past.

A night lived under stars and crowded patio gathering.
Your kiss was as close as a second, in my resistance.

Nostalgia and closure thanked the moment.
My brain fading off raging lust and peace of sorrow.

The cobblestone lead me home,

Alone.

The One Who Won't Stop Waiting

The feeling of waiting.
I wonder.."Does it ever really go away?"
Sometimes I just wish all of this would stop.
Everything that I think..I start to feel. And it eats away at me.
Everything inside me is uncertain and unknowing.
Unendingly questioning every existence.
Every thought, every word, every feeling.
Every thing.

And I wait for it to pass. But it never does.
You never find what you're waiting for
because eventually there will be something else to wait for.
The cycle that is infinity.

And sometimes I think that maybe...we will never disappear.
Maybe it's impossible.
When it's possible my brain is my own expanding universe.

Skipping Beats

I am everywhere.
I am pieces.
I am air.
I am dark and light.
I am sun and sky.
I am wind and warmth.

My heart beats, my lungs expand.

My mind changes everything, everyday.
Sometimes I forget who and where I am.
Other days I know exactly what this is.
Exactly what I want.

But today I woke up to feel like I am disappearing.
Losing. Giving up hope.
Falling.

Waiting.
To hit the bottom, and crash.

Crash into more pieces,
multiples of millions.

Of Earth and sand and traveling particles.
To reach space, and stars and all countries of the world.

Because these places are lacking me, and I am lacking them.
Lacking love, and discovery and life in other universes.

I'm trying to hold on,
But I feel like I am being pulled into another place,
On the other side.

Somewhere else wants or needs me,
And I don't want to be here anymore.

I just want to feel alive,
Feel okay.

Feel whatever it is I can't anymore.

I think that I've lost my heart.
I think my chest is filled with sadness,
And now all that I am... is incapable of breathing.

Infinite.

"Welcome to the universe."
Those are the words you whispered.

The universe- It is infinite.
Does that mean that maybe we are too?