Tonight You Said Goodbye

I tore myself open for you,
You crawled right in.

No caution. No whispers.
Warning signs ignored.

Nausea now taking up my organs,
Heaving the regret you gave me.
The regret I let happen, all alone.

This sickness will eat me alive now,
I bid you leave.

Leave me.
It's easier to imagine you never existed.
A story I just read in a book.
I will bury it in the deepest, darkest shelf.

Never return to a vanishing soul,
That will not fight
For the heart you have already given.

Home Bound

The drapes being dragged open
Sunlight, come in.

Lost the verge of madness,
In myself I wasted sin.

Skin to golden ray,
Smile Ive stumbled a way

Back to Earth you fall
Out of dark again,

Goodbye stars, my friend.

Life awaits, again.

Find It

You were ravishing and full of love-

Seek that within yourself.

Don’t wish that you were someone else.

If I had something left to say

I would tell you to

Find you’re heart, and carry it.

Don’t bury it.

If you could hold on to the one thing

That leads you to the right things

Would you let it go?

When you’re all alone in a dark, cold room

You look around and guess that it’s over too soon

But you forgot the lights were on

You forgot the best surrounds

And you once had me

The time I fell, you didn’t wait for me

And at the bottom there were tears

That got me up and brought me here

Loneliness was a best friend

But I’m back at the top again.

Shell

I really lost my heart.
And this time I can't find it.
I call for it,
I look for it.
It is nowhere.
All that leads me, is my mind.
All I hear is my mind,
So I listen.

It could be up to me to change.
But instead, I sit here waiting..
Because it always feels like there is something that is going to happen.
Something, an awakening, anything.
Nothing ever happens. And the waiting will not. ever. stop.
Right?

So do I force myself up out the door and try to find sanity
within the crowds and routine lived by others?
Creating the same thing for myself...?

I am looking for my heart,
because I have blocked off everything I can feel.

And I can't feel.
So, I don't know
What I care about.

I try to dig that knife into my skin,
Into my wrists.
Just so that I can feel SOMETHING.

And I wake up to examine the marks I left.
I need to know that I am real. I need to feel it.
But instead.
I am just dead.
I am just...empty.

Just a shell.

Secret Someone's

Someone broke their promise,

Someone made it rain.

Someone out there is crying,

Because someone is the one to blame.

Someone out there can't see,

Their life is wearing thin.

And all the other someones 

Just don't know where to begin.

Someone out there is dying,

Maybe that someone is already dead.

And someone out there is hurting,

with words they left unsaid.

Someone out there loves you,

Someone out there has been forgotten.

For every heart that is broken,

Love has been found.

Balance, gain, loss.

Break, heal. 

And know that someone out there needs you.

One of the someones is you.

Find Me

I just want to be found.
But who is willing to do the searching,
and the caring
and the love.

Who will give me all of that?
If you exist, where are you?
And how much longer will it be till you get here...