Starting Line

Nothing is wrong.
Nothing is here.
Nothing is okay.

Nothing is wrong.
There is just a constant battle,
A constant war with myself.

It's exhausting.

It makes everything seem so much more than what it will ever be.
Or really, what it actually is.

I hurt too much when people leave.
I think too much to try and sleep.

I give up trying when coping with myself is unbearable.

I dont seek help because I dont want it.

I want the ability to do things on my own.
Even though I seem unable to.

I need help, I need an escape.
I need to be guided.
Loved.
Cherished.
Recognized.
Inspired.

But I just sit here, watching
My life pass me by.

Because Ive lost the starting line.

The Break Without A Cure

Why do I still want you
And think of you
And miss you.

When I'm absolutely nothing,
In your mind.

I want to give you, what I couldn't before.
But I know that if I did, it would kill me.

You haven't even asked to come back in my life.
And I'll just wish that you never will.

Secretly wanting a glimpse of your eyes to stare back in mine, a last time.

After the Rain

And every time you look past the dark,
There will be a glitter in the air.

And every time you remember how to smile,
There will be eyes that are cleared.

And every time you hold your breath,
Just look before you drown.

'Cause you can change your life at any moment.
You can turn it all around.

Don't give up, just because you feel pain,
Remember it will leave, it will fade away.

Fight for your dreams, and cut away your fears.
So where will you go once the rain disappears?

Giving...up.

My heart is breaking. Every guy I have ever admitted to liking, never returns the feelings. And the most recent guy just shut down a chance, when it very well had the potential for us to spark. I give up. I’m seriously done. All guys do, is use you and disappoint you. And i’m so tired of hurting. My heart belongs to me, and no one can have it anymore.