Starting Line

Nothing is wrong.
Nothing is here.
Nothing is okay.

Nothing is wrong.
There is just a constant battle,
A constant war with myself.

It's exhausting.

It makes everything seem so much more than what it will ever be.
Or really, what it actually is.

I hurt too much when people leave.
I think too much to try and sleep.

I give up trying when coping with myself is unbearable.

I dont seek help because I dont want it.

I want the ability to do things on my own.
Even though I seem unable to.

I need help, I need an escape.
I need to be guided.
Loved.
Cherished.
Recognized.
Inspired.

But I just sit here, watching
My life pass me by.

Because Ive lost the starting line.

The Search for Guidance

Reassure me with encouraging words that I have the ability of doing this.
 Sometimes I feel like I'll just stop breathing.
Give me guidance to fight the panic.
I've forgotten why I'm here.