Caution

A knock at the door is what made my day.

A knock at the door.

A surprise.

A person.

Who cautioned me not to get my heart into this..

I haven't, I won't and I also can't...
The truth is I don't feel anything at all.
And I don't know how to begin to feel
Again.

Hell

You brought a storm,
When I had found my happiness.

You took it away from me,
you made me miserable.

You left me constantly waiting and disappointed.
And you said the words "I love you."
But in the end they weren't what you meant.

You took away my sun,
You stole it.

You made me feel worthless.
You threw me away.

And now I'm lost.
I'm fucking lost.

I have built up so much hate.
I don't know how to forgive you.
But I know it's what I need to do to let go.

I can't right now because I saw all the warning signs,
and I chose to ignore them.

You left me disappointed not only in you, but myself.
I hate you. And  I wish I could yell those words at you.

You don't deserve anything you wish for.
You only deserve misery. And hell.

I hope you fucking go to hell.

Welcome

Your dedicating music to me,
Words to me.

Your dedicating.

You are here.

I love beginnings.
I love this excitement.

You make me feel
Like you are good for me.

And realize what wasn't good,
In the past.

I don't even know how you came here,
In my life.

But you are becoming an aspect.
An aspect that just might take up my heart.

Finished

I'm not aware
It's not that I'm not there,
It's that I wasn't,
Before.

I wasn't there,
To hear you cry,
To keep you company
Before your goodbye.

I lost the air inside my lungs,
The minute you hung up,

I came undone.

Thank-you.

You make me smile. You make me feel. Again. You make me remember hope. You make me remember the butterflies and endless smiles. You compliment me the way no one else does. And I don’t want to have my hopes too high. But you make me happy, and that is enough for now.

Trying to Try

It's like I noticed you standing in front of me for a reason,
But i'm trying to forget it.

I am unwilling to stand here again with open arms,
and receive nothing.

I am unwilling to have my heart taken from my chest,
only to be thrown away.

It is not a game.

And once it stops beating,
Life is over.

The World We Live In

The world. It's this place we're living in. It's this place we can explore and discover endless possibilities. It's a reminder of all the beauty that surrounds us, even when we aren't noticing. Even when we have forgotten. The beauty here is in everything. All you have to do is look up at the stars. And see that they are shining.

At the Sea Shore

You asked her questions

about me.

But you told me you loved me.

I stil don't understand.

How you could hold my hand

And not ask me what was wrong.

I don't understand why you would be

afraid of me.

You said you loved me.

But you never tried to understand

This person that I am. You didn't. Love me. You didn't.

You sailed away, and left me at the shore.

And i'm still glaring into the sunset,

Wondering if you'll ever come back for me.

Secret Someone's

Someone broke their promise,

Someone made it rain.

Someone out there is crying,

Because someone is the one to blame.

Someone out there can't see,

Their life is wearing thin.

And all the other someones 

Just don't know where to begin.

Someone out there is dying,

Maybe that someone is already dead.

And someone out there is hurting,

with words they left unsaid.

Someone out there loves you,

Someone out there has been forgotten.

For every heart that is broken,

Love has been found.

Balance, gain, loss.

Break, heal. 

And know that someone out there needs you.

One of the someones is you.

The Cure For Pain

"Heaven knows, I try to find a cure for the pain. Oh my lord, to suffer like you do. It would be a lie to run away..."

-Jon Foreman.

The Founded Hurt

Something is gone.
And you want it.
But you no longer wanted it
when it was yours.

It brought you anger and frustration,
And you were done dealing with it all.

But i close my eyes and sleep at night.
And you are all I see.

I can't avoid you.
Even if you aren't in my life.
I still see you at night.

I try to walk away,
But in my dreams I only want you to stay.

And though my heart is already broken,
And I have fled to the sea.

All the feelings that I don't want
Find a way to rupture me.

Rupture a hole that has been healed,
Rupture the scars that have been sealed.

I have found the difficulty in breathing,
I once believed the world was leaving.

But it was only me,
Wanting to be gone.
It was only me,
The me you never even got to see.