Stuck

I know I cant keep it hidden forever.
I know that I struggled,
I know that I broke and healed.
And I know that I am okay now.

In my dreams appears a warehouse
of memories that will never truly be forgotten.
I feel I have forgotten, I feel that things have faded.
But they are still there.
And if I think long enough,
My heart will start to hurt,
My eyes will begin to tear.
I will grow sad.

I push it away as much as I can.
I try to fill myself with new memories, new feelings for new people.
But they can never replace you.
You can never fill a void, it needs to close on it's own.
Not that I feel empty.
I just need to learn
How to let it out.
You say you care for me,
Your here for me.
And when you ask, I still cant talk about it.

Im afraid.
Im guarded.
Im hiding.

I keep my emotions held back,
So that I dont have to feel.
I dont want to feel.

and I cant anymore.
There is no pain.
There is no hurt.
There are no memories.
Yet there still within.

There is no pain.
Yet there's still a scar.

I want to give you my stories.
I dont want to have to hide.
I dont want to be terrified.

Pull me out from under,
and force the words out of me.
Because they are trapped in my own head,
in my own voice.

Ive let it go,
but now I need to let it out...

I need to hear it.
I need to give it to someone else.