Black Hole

The fear that pulses through these veins
It's like a poison
It makes you ill, paranoid, terrified.

I've never known a better enemy nor friend.

Have you tried to break yourself?
But really you just wanted to operate the pain out.

We use destructive methods,
When we can't figure out accurate ones.

Do you get bored with solutions?
You want one so bad,
But at the same time
You feed off of being so lost,
So hurt.
You really just want to know,
How much deeper
You can get.

How much more pain
You can take.

So you break yourself.

Why must we always discover the paths
With dead ends?
Circles.

You can't hit the breaks when you're afraid.
You have to speed into the terror, eyes wide open.

Walk straight this time,
Be brave next time.

Doormat Lover

The people who want to take chances
Always end up with the people who aren't willing to take them.

Through a dusted mirror of a narrow hallway
She recognizes her mysterious reflection
And wonders about the world.

Music pulls on her heart strings,
And words on a page are like oxygen to her lungs.

The people who fight fear,
Always end up with the people who are defeated by fear.

No common ground has been discovered,
And we are running out of seas.

Droughts progress, the days are running out of weeks.

And a pilot can only stay awake for so long,
And a plane can only fly it's amount of fuel, before ground.

Until the crash, time will pass.
The girl in the mirror will never see clearer
Than the dust on a shard of glass.

Spoons

Burn for more,

One fire is not enough.

One pain extending.

Fear ignores the cure.

I will follow the tide.

Ride your wave, back to shore.

The Fear

My heart races for you.
My mind dreams of you.
My stomach grows butterflies in the thought of you.

The feeling I thought I'd never find again..
Has arrived.

I feel knots,
I feel sick,
I feel.

Something other than misery.

I feel want, need, lust.

For if I don't have you,
My breath may stop completely.

I am losing my mind.
For it is you, who has taken it away from me.
I wish you could say that you won't be leaving.
That you won't be hurting.
Me.

My heart races,
Please don't make it stop.

After the Rain

And every time you look past the dark,
There will be a glitter in the air.

And every time you remember how to smile,
There will be eyes that are cleared.

And every time you hold your breath,
Just look before you drown.

'Cause you can change your life at any moment.
You can turn it all around.

Don't give up, just because you feel pain,
Remember it will leave, it will fade away.

Fight for your dreams, and cut away your fears.
So where will you go once the rain disappears?

Soul Search

And every cut you scar me with,
Just numbs me to the core.

Everything like shattered glass, I've felt it all before.
And if you try to take my hand,
Just watch for it to break.

'Cause everything you steal from me,
I can't continue to replace.

I'll stay lost behind these walls,
You won't see me if I fall.

The time keeps moving, Im feeling small.

Try to take me away.
Try and steal, but i'm afraid.
You have no words left to say.

You can't take what you break.
You can't take what you took.

Like a heart
continues to beat.
Like the soul in my body, two things that continue to meet.

And if I could disappear,
I would want to be some place so far away from here.
So far away from here.

Don't try to look in my eyes.
Don't try to wipe back my tears.

This isn't your place.
You got no right to leave me,
With fear.

So what did you do to me?
Why did you leave me here?

Insomnia

I'm scared to sleep. You know what I think of? Dying. I think of death. And i'm scared to fall asleep. The part I hate the most is the laying in the dark. I panic, because I think of how much I would rather see or have a light on. If I die in my sleep, I'm afraid I'll be in the dark for eternity. I hate the dark and I'm scared to sleep. Because I just want to live and be awake as much as I am alive. If that means being up waiting for the sun, whether it's sunrise, or sunset, I'm thinking of trying that. I'm so afraid to fall asleep and think I may not make it to another beautiful morning. Crazy isn't it?

The dark is the last thing I'd want to see before I die.

Useless

My hands are shaking.

No, I can't find my grip.

I keep losing it.

I keep losing.

No, I don't feel anything.

I only feel pain.

Im turning numb.

I am fear,

I am anxiety,

I am concerned.

I am paranoia.

As thin as felt, and i'm beginning to tear.

Tear apart, break and fall.

I can't process.

I can't get over this hill thrown in front of me.

My hands are shaking.

My world is breaking.

My life is ending.

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