carry me

It' not just the fact that I have been hurt alot.
Ive realized that its the fact that ive never had consistency.
Ive never had consistency with people, with friends.
I was always moving, changing places and forced to leave.
I was always used, hurt, and left behind.

I dont know what it's like to always have someone here for me.
I dont know how to trust it even though your telling me to.
I've lost every friend, and every person I ever held a
connection or bond with. Either they went away, or I did.

Nothing has ever lasted as long as I have wanted it to.
Therefore I have troubles with believing.

I want you to stay, I hope you are permanent.
But I dont know permanence.
There is no one in my life who has stayed besides my family.
And that is why we are closest.

I cant tell you my secrets and I cant tell you my stories,
because im afraid you'll leave too, and take them with you.

Im afraid you'll break my heart.
I cant give you my heart.
I no longer know how
to give any part of myself away.

Every time I took a risk, it wasnt worth it.
Every time I took a chance I got hurt.
Im always learning the harder ways. The painful ways.

Ill crawl into your open arms, if you carry me away with you.
carry me away forever.