Shut Down

Cringing by the sound of your voices,
Eyes all on me.
Judged.

I can worry about myself.
I need space, air.

I need loneliness, isolate.

Your criticism isn't going to change me,
Or make me move faster.

Stop staring, judging, whispering.
Start asking, talking, trying.

It makes me happy to displease you,
It disgusts me that your happy when I'm unhappy with what I see in the mirror.

Content in my state of shrivel.
And I will literally shrivel to pieces,
Without you kept quiet.

You need a muzzle for that,
I have my own trap permanently yelling at me inside my head.

After the Rain

And every time you look past the dark,
There will be a glitter in the air.

And every time you remember how to smile,
There will be eyes that are cleared.

And every time you hold your breath,
Just look before you drown.

'Cause you can change your life at any moment.
You can turn it all around.

Don't give up, just because you feel pain,
Remember it will leave, it will fade away.

Fight for your dreams, and cut away your fears.
So where will you go once the rain disappears?

Skipping Beats

I am everywhere.
I am pieces.
I am air.
I am dark and light.
I am sun and sky.
I am wind and warmth.

My heart beats, my lungs expand.

My mind changes everything, everyday.
Sometimes I forget who and where I am.
Other days I know exactly what this is.
Exactly what I want.

But today I woke up to feel like I am disappearing.
Losing. Giving up hope.
Falling.

Waiting.
To hit the bottom, and crash.

Crash into more pieces,
multiples of millions.

Of Earth and sand and traveling particles.
To reach space, and stars and all countries of the world.

Because these places are lacking me, and I am lacking them.
Lacking love, and discovery and life in other universes.

I'm trying to hold on,
But I feel like I am being pulled into another place,
On the other side.

Somewhere else wants or needs me,
And I don't want to be here anymore.

I just want to feel alive,
Feel okay.

Feel whatever it is I can't anymore.

I think that I've lost my heart.
I think my chest is filled with sadness,
And now all that I am... is incapable of breathing.

In the Blink of an Eye

I thought when I read that you were giving people a chance, that included me.

I guess I was wrong. You proved it to be wrong.

You took me out, you said things and made me smile.
We stayed up all night to speak to each other.

And now there is someone else.

I no longer exist to you.

Black

It's like the smoke drifting from a fire,
Farther into the sky.
And I'm slowly fading,
Black
And disappearing.