I Love You

Im falling for you,

in every way.

It's the kind of love, that makes you forget

about pain, about past traumas, about hate.

It's the kind of love that makes me feel real again.

I need you in my life, and I think without you I'd be hopeless.

You have made me realize and remember what it feels like

to be loved.

You have made me believe in things I have lost faith in.

You have given me wings that had been broken.

You have helped my heart start beating again.

Your always here to make me a better person,

You are always helping, and trying to be everything.

That's what you mean to me; everything.

Just know that when I say things I don't mean,

These are the words that I actually mean.

And these are the feelings I hide behind the fear or anger.

You could never make me unhappy, or do something wrong.

The fact that you love me is more than I could ever ask or hope for.

The fact that I even have you in my life, and am with you.

We are together, and I think I'd be lost if together fell apart.

You have brought me everything that I once lost.

And I dont ever want to lose it again,

I only want you

Until all of the time in the world runs out

And even then.

I only wish to give you everything in return

My heart is yours,

And I will hold on to you.

You're the one I think of when I wake up,

and who I dream of when I fall asleep at night.

You have made me believe in make-believe,

In magic,

In love

That I thought was lost.

You amaze me, with everything you do

and everything you are.

You have made me the absolute best person I can possibly be,

Thank you for changing my life undoubtedly.

You have brought me inspiration to grow as a person,

To do or be things I was always afraid of doing or trying.

You have helped me learn to trust in people,

because I trust in you.

Even if this is a risk, I know it is worth it

from all these feelings I have gained

from all these ways I have changed.

I know without question, that you are here for me.

I love you and I feel it in a way that I cannot describe

Just looking at you and being with you makes me feel alive.

I want you to know that I will always be here for you,

I will always support and stand by you.

I mean these words from the bottom of my heart.

Love,

Brittany Folino

I stay closed-off to the point of a loss of interest in others, because then people will just eventually know things about me, and I'd rather not be known at all.

tatt's

my next 3 tattoos:

"fall until we fly, live until we die."

-

"Famiglia" (Family, in italian)

-

"Don't Panic"

-

"Don't let your dreams, be dreams"

I know its alot of words, and not so much images.

But after all, I am a writer

not a drawer.

I see and express myself through words,

and others words, by relation to them.

Thats where i get inspired.

Don't Panic, is actually the only one i want to add an image to,

but ill keep that to myself for now, and post a picture once its tattooed on ma bodyy!

help

I want to tell you,

I need to tell you,

everything that you don't know.

everything, I have not said.

I don't know how,

I don't know where to start,

what you'll think,

what you'll say.

I need help, I don't know how to receive it,

I don't know, how to ask for it.

I need help, I know I do.

eyes wide open

I love you,

I lied.

Im just afraid of it

of love,

and of feeling.

opening.

thats the greatest fear,

and hoping and wishing and praying

that you will not regret it.

Hoping they stand by your side forever.

Hoping you receive happily ever after,

but im not sure that exists in this life

and this life is called reality.

Confusion often finds me

in the subject or thought of you.

I should only be keen to trying to figure you out,

understand the confusion

instead of wanting to leave it,

ignore it,

push it

away.

Im apologizing more often than you.

That says where im standing

I know im only making things more difficult.

but now I realize.

Im sorry

I am.

And I need you in my life,

I do.

As much as I refuse to open up,

I want to, more than ever.

I am not going anywhere,

I am not going anywhere.

I will stand and wait,

sit and wait

love

and wait.

If thats what you are,

You are all I need

And the answer would be simple,

that you are worth the wait.

Worth the fall,

worth it all.

His Hand

You no longer feel,

the pain he struck

across your face.

The pain that shook

through your body,

through your mind

in your head.

And you know what you have to do, leave.

But you can't.

Your addicted to the hurt.

Your addicted to this love.

Its a sick kind of love,

thats what you hear,

not what you believe.

No matter who tells you, that this is wrong.

There is no where else that you feel you belong.

But in his arms,

in his heart,

in this pain.

You refuse to let it go,

and you see that hand hit your face

over and over again.

Theres no where else you'd rather be.

Just his arms wrapped around me.

Even when you sleep you see,

the face of the devil

you scream,

you cry.

You hold it in,

refuse to get out.

When this is something you all should know about.

I trip over his feet everyday,

I try to believe that one day ill be okay.

They say to get help,

but I dont understand

All I want is to hold his hand

unknown

Stop saying you love me,

you dont love me.

I dont feel it,

I dont see it.

I dont know it.

You are unaware of everything.

And there is no point

In saying how I feel.

You feel no support,

but i feel no support.

What is holding us together?

disconnected

It's like what I say

doesnt process in your head.

Like you cant understand,

like I need to translate.

And it should be that way,

this should be natural,

Instead life is getting in the way.

It's in the way of us,

it's tearing us apart.

I'm here,

You're there.

Disconnected

Disconnecting

Spinning,

circles.

Your words mean nothing to me.

I know your words mean nothing

at all.

You would have been 74 today.

I can't believe the time has come again,

the time of your existence.

Your day of birth, still celebrated.

Time only seems to be going faster,

and there's a gap without you here.

But I believe your safe and happy.

I believe that you can hear it,

as your family still calls out "Happy Birthday"

We drift in and out of sleep,

we move in and out of days.

We live in the cycle of life,

That I believe you are still apart of.

Like clouds and stars, and endless sky.

Like rain, like wind.

I feel you here.

I feel love and beauty and the presence of you

the presence you always left, unforgotten.

When I look up

I know for sure

there must be something more,

and maybe that is what you are apart of now.

We smile and live the best way we can,

pulling through each and everyday

as we end it, together.

We have to believe that we can still

make you proud,

make you smile.

And though you are not here to receive gifts,

I know for certain that we have the greatest gift of all

and that is, love.

You have given us love, and shown us love

and it still lives here.

The memories of you linger eternally in our hearts.

Nothing is permanent but there's a little bit of you

in all of us.

Through blood, through thoughts, through life.

I look around me,

and I remember you. Always.

This family you have brought here treasures

every single moment you have ever given to them,

every single lesson you have ever taught them,

every single feeling you have left them.

Apart of you will always be alive within their hearts, our hearts.

And that is something we can never give up on.

We won't ever let go, of you.

Happy Birthday Nonna.

Love,

Brittany.

Dark

There is a cage

inside of my head

that I have lost the key to.

There are words locked up,

There are feelings unknown of,

and sufferings that have gone

unnoticed.

Is it really my fault?

I know this time it's in my place

to say something

You cant just read

whats locked inside

when it has been

unspoken of,

unheard

I know

but I cant,

not that I cant

Just that I dont know how

Thats a new line to walk

A new door to open

which has never been open.

And what happens if it never gets unlocked?

will it all just fade away

like forgotten memories

or feelings

because I cant feel anymore

I never thought i'd say this

But I miss the pain

And I wish I could feel it again

I wish I could disappear to somewhere, anywhere

Im starting to feel

Like im watching television

my boredom

has caused me

a lack of inspiration

and passion

and feeling

I wish the stars could take me away

then at least I could light up the dark

Sometimes

Sometimes

I think I don't mean as much to you,

as you say I do.

Sometimes,

I think your not saying everything,

that needs to be said,

We say I Love You,

But sometimes

I am completely uncertain.

Sometimes I think of walking away,

from you, from this

That way, we wont have to grow

We can break

Sometimes

I feel completely alone,

and confused as to why I am with you.

But I am with you,

nonetheless

So, there must be a reason.

Nature

I walk to the door step

in moonlight,

The stars above looking down,

watching.

I walk outdoors,

In sunlight,

The clouds above me looking down,

watching.

Up above

existing,

going,

spinning

and I just take it in...