lost time

Im so tired of waiting around,
so shatter the clocks around the world
Let their ticking die.
I dont want to know anymore,
How much time has gone by.
And while we're here still waiting,
Shocked to be alive
I dont want to know the time,
I just want to know
That I'll survive.

secret

I want to know the world
and the artist
who painted it all.
where are you existing?
are you here at all?
Maybe your above
Maybe your nothing
But hiding...
If I could choose a secret
for only me to know
I would want
to hear all of them.

One is not enough.
Or one might be too much.

Maybe there are so many unanswered questions
because it is better that way,
Maybe it would kill us if we knew.

But we're here,
and I try to see through.

I want all of the world, inhaled.
and you.

window pane

The field is bright and green and open.
I just want to run into it.

The sky is dark and grey and lost.
I am trying to search through it.

The sun is burning the horizon
and I want to make a run for it.

The rays of light are exploding.
I just want to dive into it,
be apart of it
instead of staring blankly at the sky.

Hidden In Stars

I lost the feeling
In my touch,
The voice within my breath.
I took off with my wings,
to soar toward the stars.

Something being kept there,
The only hope we wish for.
And their light twinkles to remind us
that we are not alone.

Their light shines
to give us vision through the darkness.

When will love take over?
They say it always wins,
If they say
that even for an instant
it can change the world.

So when will it take over,
and when will all the hurt
start to drain.

when will we be given wings
to fix all of the broken things.

I know wishes come true,
somewhere, someplace
they were granted
and we just never knew.

Fallen

You make me believe,
In things I have given up on.

You make me see
The world in a different way.

I think I have started falling,
I don't ever want it to stop...

Fly

I think Love will find
A way to break in
And fill what has been emptied.

A way to break in and find,
Everything that we are, entwined.

All the sorrows go away.
When something is growing,
without you even knowing.

The roots bury themselves deep,
and they cant ever be torn out.
A piece of my heart you'll keep,
if someday I find a way out.

Im not going anywhere,
and I hope you stand by

Because I believe in us
and I know that together
we will fly.

Angel

I prayed to God
For the one I love,
I thought He never heard me.

I prayed to you,
for someone I held onto..
My dream never came true.

Instead my heart got broken,
and all I had were tears
From all the memories playing
Over the past years.

But I have become strong
And now I have someone.

You heard me God.
He is God-sent.

You heard me God,
He's my angel.

I never got what I wanted..
But maybe there was another plan
A better plan.

I lost my belief in you.
But you've sent me someone new.

Im sorry I lost my patience..
Forgive me for the bitterness my pain has caused.

But now it's gone away.
But now I've got an angel
and I know he's here to stay.

Dreamland

I walk over the bridge
and hold onto a chain,
Hoping to swing
to the other side.

Beneath me is running water
bursting from the earth,
bursting outside of me.
And it falls for no one to see.

I cling to what i'm holding onto,
I cannot let myself fall.

I cling, and the chains belong to me,
I cannot let myself fall.

I dont know where I go
inside my mind.

I dont know what I find
Inside my mind.

A place that holds me in my sleep.
Im the only one trying to keep
all the wasted water, that forms a sea below
once the rocks hit bottom
and the waves hit there own flow.

Somehow i survived and woke from a deadly dream,
now nothing can be real,
as real as the darkness seems.

The night drinks me in,
but ive yet to be spit out.
And I just spin in circles
wondering what this world's about...

Below

I dont know
How to say
What I feel.
I dont know
How to show
how I feel...

In my mind im lost,
but out here im okay.
Im better than okay.

Somewhere in my mind
is apart that needs to be spilled,
its knocking, its scratching
its way out.
But all I want to do
Is forget about it.

How do I let you in?
Where have I been..

How do I give you these words,
where do I begin?

Just take it all from me,
just steal it all away,

I no longer know whats real,
And i don't hope to see you again someday

If you were to walk away tomorrow
I would walk away too.

If you were to walk away tomorrow,
no tears could fall through.

The cage is dropping but im still held up high..
waiting to be dropped down below.

To Build A Home

What if I told you I love you?
Would you say that you feel the same.
What happens if my heart gets broken again.

What if the sky were other than blue?
what if the earth never grew, never moved?
what if we keep destroying where we live
the planet will stop breathing
there'll be no time left to give.

What if you hold my heart in your hands
and become apart of my life till the end
what would you say if you knew I told lies?
would you turn around and say goodbye?

what if the sun never lit up or left the sky?
would there be questions with answers to "why"
and what if time and clocks didnt exist
would we still feel like there is something that we missed?

and would if death were something that could never
conquer our souls.
would we stay forever and never grow old?

what if happiness were a permanent state?
would we walk around smiling, never a frown on our face?

what if emotions are not even real, we're all just pretending
that there is something we feel.
and what if love was something we all had?
to mend all thats broken,
to never feel the meaning of "sad."

and what if there was no war,
and people had never gone mad?
no tragedies known,
and all history were glad.

What if we all held hands around the world?
and created an endless circle
for no one to ever be alone
Let's all remember each others faces
and create a utopia
which we can call Home.

Destination?

I want to see the world
I want to have a place
I want to know where I am
But I dont know where I am
I just stand

I want to fly over walls
and break down these doors
find the keys to locks
that have been lost

I want to throw away
this wasting storage
and let it turn to dust

Time is ticking
days are wasting
rain is falling
sun is rising

Im still in this same spot
I want to move
I need to go
where do I go?

lead me out of this place
take me somewhere far
where other things exist
and we all know
who we are.

The Keeping

I dont expect you to understand,
because I dont even understand.

How I went to that place in the dark.
How I gave away a secret, that gave away my heart.

I dont know if you'll know everything,
But you will know what I have the ability
of telling you.

You dont know how far ive gone,
but you will start to see it.

You dont know who I am
but you will start to hear it.

So much is gone, but I am present...
And I hold all I have now.

Out

I honestly don't know what to say,
how much to say
and where to start.

It's not as easy as beginning to end.
The words dont't just pour out like
water falling from the sky.

But things are falling from the sky,
and right now I'm staying underground.
Digging and trying to find
the place thats calling out to me.

I went through several oceans
and came back empty handed.
There wasnt any treasure, or any gold.

Your standing at the shore watching me, waiting for me.
I can only walk in slow motion, but your ready to take my hand.
You try to reassure me with the words "I understand."
You tell me to take my time,
but I just keep trying to find..

If you look into my heart
I don't know what you'll find.
I dont know what you'll think.
I don't know that you'll take it from me.
So, im clenching it in my own hands
instead of giving it to you.

In the little gaps between the walls
I try to sneak out, break out.
Slowly, im climbing over.
Slowly, im releasing my grip on my heart.

My steps are quickening,
The waves are lessening.
Are we exchanging?
Giving and receiving?

I know you'll find my heart.
I already see us from afar,
standing as one single thing,
instead of two separate parts.

We combine,
everything gets left behind.
We combine,
there is no such thing as time.

Together, apart.
words in the silence.
take them out.
give them light.
give them to you.

carry me

It' not just the fact that I have been hurt alot.
Ive realized that its the fact that ive never had consistency.
Ive never had consistency with people, with friends.
I was always moving, changing places and forced to leave.
I was always used, hurt, and left behind.

I dont know what it's like to always have someone here for me.
I dont know how to trust it even though your telling me to.
I've lost every friend, and every person I ever held a
connection or bond with. Either they went away, or I did.

Nothing has ever lasted as long as I have wanted it to.
Therefore I have troubles with believing.

I want you to stay, I hope you are permanent.
But I dont know permanence.
There is no one in my life who has stayed besides my family.
And that is why we are closest.

I cant tell you my secrets and I cant tell you my stories,
because im afraid you'll leave too, and take them with you.

Im afraid you'll break my heart.
I cant give you my heart.
I no longer know how
to give any part of myself away.

Every time I took a risk, it wasnt worth it.
Every time I took a chance I got hurt.
Im always learning the harder ways. The painful ways.

Ill crawl into your open arms, if you carry me away with you.
carry me away forever.

Stuck

I know I cant keep it hidden forever.
I know that I struggled,
I know that I broke and healed.
And I know that I am okay now.

In my dreams appears a warehouse
of memories that will never truly be forgotten.
I feel I have forgotten, I feel that things have faded.
But they are still there.
And if I think long enough,
My heart will start to hurt,
My eyes will begin to tear.
I will grow sad.

I push it away as much as I can.
I try to fill myself with new memories, new feelings for new people.
But they can never replace you.
You can never fill a void, it needs to close on it's own.
Not that I feel empty.
I just need to learn
How to let it out.
You say you care for me,
Your here for me.
And when you ask, I still cant talk about it.

Im afraid.
Im guarded.
Im hiding.

I keep my emotions held back,
So that I dont have to feel.
I dont want to feel.

and I cant anymore.
There is no pain.
There is no hurt.
There are no memories.
Yet there still within.

There is no pain.
Yet there's still a scar.

I want to give you my stories.
I dont want to have to hide.
I dont want to be terrified.

Pull me out from under,
and force the words out of me.
Because they are trapped in my own head,
in my own voice.

Ive let it go,
but now I need to let it out...

I need to hear it.
I need to give it to someone else.