Slip Away

It's weird, I really enjoy staying up late all by myself. I like being up hours later everyone has gone to bed. Why do I like this being alone? Sometimes I wish I could escape it but I realize I can't. Staying up and writing till 4 am has become an addiction. It's like I fight sleep, I don't want it to come and I don't want to go, I just want to stay here. Although tonight I find myself sinking into tiredness. Maybe all these light nights are catching up to me and calling, begging even for rest. My eyes are half-shut, and here I am still pushing, still going. I really am exhausted, actually falling asleep at the keyboard.

Today I decided to keep my part time job and start serving, and then get a day job somewhere close to home so, I don't have to transit it through the winter freezing days. I also decided that I will apply to college this week, St. Clair College and Humber. I'm having a hard time though deciding which one will be the final choice. I like St. Clair because of the beauty of the city and the school, the architecture and everything is so great in Windsor. Humber, I am interested in because the program sounds a bit better, it's for Journalism in case you weren't already aware. The difference between the two is that St. Clair's program is two years and Humber's is 3 years. In both courses you study all aspects of Journalism from print, to online, to broadcast etc.. but Humber makes you choose a pathway in the third year either print or broadcast and then you do the internship in the third year. At St. Clair it's just two years with everything converged, and a shorter internship within the two year program. Please, anyone reading feel free to leave me comments or suggestions because i'm really having a hard time deciding which school to choose, which way to go and it's getting frustrating, it really is. Any help is much appreciated!

New poem, if anyone is interested. Let me know what you think:

Slip Away

Everytime I wanna leap

I stop, holding back.

Your blue eyes lock on me

and I am frozen in your presence

Scared to move or even breathe

what do you even think of me?

I lost the lock when you lost the key,

Now there's no way to even break free

You tell me to sing a song,

I say you sing along.

but you just walk away

everytime I ask you to stay.

Im trying but I'm giving up

on finding ways to cry for help

What makes us want to hide away

When everything inside us is trying to escape

Throwing away the history

but it just comes back to haunt me

and your blue eyes keep holding

lose your gaze, please free me

Because I'm so tired of all this hurt I feel

I can't tell anymore if this is real

Let me slip away just this once,

like everyone else.

Let me fade away just this time,

burn out bright, like nobody else.

The world keeps on spinning,

When I wish for it to stop.

I keep on running,

When im about to drop.

Someone push me, so I can make this leap

without everyone's eyes turning towards me.

I will show you I can be

Better than what you've ever known or thought of me.

So each time that I break,

you can't take a piece of me with you,

I will stand solid, I will stand strong.

I will have the power to finally fly away

And that will be the day

that you unlock your eyes,

and let me slowly

slip away.