Medicated

Depression loves me
He wraps his arms around me
And tells me he'll never leave
He'll always be here
To consume me
Where as happiness and and her friends are temporary

But depression
He doesn't need to give me a shake
I just walk around
Unresponsive
I just walk around
In pieces
Because its too hard to be a whole

I need to bury myself now
Because I can't reach a destination
You're my best friend
Without any hesitation

You breathe your dark
Into my soul
And linger

You gave me a definition
You are who I am

Black with infinite depth and beyond

Where Am I

All in my mind
Fast forwarding to rewind
Uphill then decline
Can't explain
What's inside

Thoughts so loud
I can't see what's around
No matter how found
My hearts lost
No matter how happy
Those wings entail cost

And I'm getting heavy
No one to hear what's going on
In my head
All thoughts left unsaid

And I cannot escape
I am drowning
Wherever I lay
Wherever I stand
No comfort
No hand

Everything outside is beautiful
But Inside feels so dull
Everything hurts
Trapped and burning alive

But I'm
Alive
Inside
What feels like
A coffin
Waiting to be dug
And arrive to a light
On the other side

Morning Hues

I've heard you've lost
Your head in the clouds.

I heard you cannot speak
Out loud.

I heard you fell
From outer space.

I heard the Earth
Quiver and shake.

But if I were sent
To the edge of this world
I'd just dive off
And never swim back..

Crisis Intervention

I burn from the inside out
Blood tears out of my skin
Cause there's no other way out

Scrape and bleed
Cry, don't breathe

Life blinds
All you see

Stuck in moments that never last
You're just pieces of the past
And I can't distinguish what is real
So I cut myself enough to feel

My lungs are black and filled with death
They can never understand
The thoughts at best

Drowning without a voice to call
I'll drown forever, now
Broke the last wall.

Icicles

Sitting on
The street line
Side line
Green light

But everything is swerving
All just swerve away
I forget your appearance

Today is just a day.
Each day we melt away

Reasons Not To Love

You slipped yourself
Inside my pocket.
Behind the clouds in my sky.

You breathed air into my lungs.
You lifted my soul the way wind rustles the earth.

And when you disappeared,
I died.

The Anxious Will Understand

The world turns
My lungs contract
Holding onto life
Keeping it in tact

Cause its so easy
For me to end
As fast as light travels
As quick as eyes blink
And I could be gone

Hold on so tight
It feels like I cannot breathe
Everything shuts down
And the universe is surrounding me

Decisions circle and cave me in
Another bruise to remind me
The mess I'm in

Only in my head
Always there instead
I need to crawl out
Of this world

But I am endless and alone
Need to swim
Out of this trench
But I'm sinking
Turning to stone

All the "what if's" play on repeat
In my mind, this is defeat
Cause I can't be where
Things are real
Lost in space
My eyes peel

Launched away
Isolated from everyone
Who cares
Unknown places
And deluded stares

This is what I've done to forget
Who I am
Flew myself so far away
On my own, I ran

And now I try to sleep
But all I feel is fear
Someone, rescue me from myself
I have broken free from anyone else

I don't deserve to cry and plead
I've left the ones who carried me
No wonder the ones I love
Leave me

Effortlessly alone
I'm the only one to blame
Can I forgive myself?
So many secrets, so much shame.

Time is too fast now
I cannot push these breaks
I am so far gone
I rush around
With no escape.

Polarized

And I still think of you
Though I'd rather not admit
Every feeling
And the movement within it

And the hate that barges in and breathes
All the hurt you'll ever seize

Then I remember you're gone
Then I remember your near
Then I remember it's over
Then I remember im here.

Revolving

In the present
Peering at the seam
Of cotton thread
Where my mind connects
And beams

A soldier hides
It's mighty fight
All silver rusts away
All your sight

The red feels like suede
And I bleed for a heart
Is it to replace mine?
Or have I just lost my senses
Lost my mind

White Figure

Your somewhat a dream
And astronauts gleam
Fiction or real
Tell me with words
How you feel

I am indoors
Where no one can see
Evaporation
Surrounds me

But I feel waves that tug and sway
Your somewhat a dream
Here, but far away

The Pool Tables

You say things
That make you realize
Your mind is so much
More than you imagined

Where blue rain falls
And rivers blend
In a painted sky
Another promise to mend

And I've lent you a coat
As the frost arrives
Keep warm
And close your eyes..

A Case of Mars

In all this wilderness
I lost the grip on your hand
I felt mellow and tuned out
To the buzzing I left
Behind a closet in my mind

In the hazy landscape
Of mountains captured
In drifting clouds
We float away

The black in my chest
Has shrivelled
The sword in your armour
Has dulled

A valley of the lone
Casted in a land of stone

Keep your kite up
Catch your feet

We will move,
Against the beat.