As Real As It Gets

I can't be here.

We lay on the surface of concrete and my entire spine caves.

Your eyes twinkle like sun reflecting off water.

If you were an ocean, I would dive into you and never stop swimming.

To the lowest point of the earth, and the deepest, darkest caves.

I wouldn't come out.

I wouldn't leave.

I want to be saved, and then I find another tunnel.
I explore it till I find something inside of me that breaks.

That shouts. That screams.

Because lying here dreaming about a world that doesn't exist,
Is not good enough.

Lying here pretending to be good enough,
Is not good enough.

But if I had a sail boat.
I could learn to sail, and stay afloat on top of it.

I don't need to drown, to die.
I just need to drown, to live.

I'm brave enough to tell you that I don't need a life jacket anymore.