The Chemicals That Control Us

I don't know what sort of lessons you need.

But, you can see mine through my fingerprints.

What happens inside,
Might change your light.

You're a different colour now,
Then the day you were born.

Ocean

I would need a bucket filled with stars,
To tell you how I feel.

I can feel the blood inside me, move.
I can feel the breath inside me, breathe.

I can feel the world pulling me to the west.
That's where we meet,
Like the Atlantic and Pacific.

Magnetic, rushing, crashing.
Waves.

Infinity Sign

Last night you told me,
"I'll be gone soon.."

And death scattered in the sky,
I shut the door
And cried in a pocket
Where no light could get in.

I don't want to fall asleep,
Without ever living again.

"You will never die."
He wrote.

"You, are light."

The Connected

I'm not a distance or a number,
Just a light without an expiration.

No end or beginning,
Just transformation,
Expansion.

I didn't need to ask myself who I am
I was born with an answer.

I can feel it in my left rib.
I can hear it all inside.

The world is just a loveless, lonely place, where all the souls are left to hide.

The Letter M

I remember the bend in the step,
The texture of the grass we once lay in.

And front yards sit in sunlight,
Porches and memories.

You capture pictures,
Circle the country.

Kaleidoscope, corner mirrors the seas,
I couldn't drive by without erasing
What you gave me.

A fallacy with feelings and heartbeat.
They write books for a reason.

Pick Up The Revolver

You know,
They carved a landscape.
And named it after you.

Every curve perfect,
Every flaw, an admiration.

But it doesn't even echo here
When I shout your name.

I guess that means, you don't hear me.

I guess that means,
I wish you would.

I never recognize the quiet
Until I'm the only one lost in it.
Screaming in it.

So now I'll try to whisper.

Touch Screen

I want to hold you
And stare into your eyes.

The blue would get me every time.

Just the way you held me so tight
Hardly left room for air.

I wish your home was mine.

The Ill

Gravity will take you,
Like silver in the stars.

Every thing you've spent waiting,
Comes for you in the dark.

And you'd think it'd be bigger,
But in the end, it's only small.

When the wall caves in,
Where do you escape?

When lungs are crushed,
The last breath to take.

Time Lapse

I can feel the anxiety,
Beating at my insides.

I treat it as a friend, and an enemy.

But it is just bad the one.

It gets me to get me.
Find me, then lose me.

If you were to give me a bottle of pills,
I wouldn't even take them.

It's not the cure it wants,
it's destruction.

And destruction makes me feel, alive.

British Columbia

The headaches come and go.
Just like the pain of blinking you
In and out of sight.

It was a disorder much too advanced
To cure, or understand.

And even if someone brought flowers, or offered a gun

To be out out of misery
I question which is worth it.

The mystery in all these molecules,
The crazy and unseen,
Keeps the foot to the petal.

I'll drive till the sun rises over mountains.

Ratchet

I don't know what they told you.
But some minds are like a prison.
A hell that some can't find their ways out of. A loss.
And if your lucky, that was just a time. A place.

And I don't know what they told you
About life either.
Some are worse than prisons.
Some don't have hope,
Some have everything and more.

And if they ever mention anything
About love.

The only thing I hope they tell you,
Is that it's worth it.

Stationary

The books say the sun orbits the earth.
The news talks about a mission on the moon.

The people talk about each other.
The animals mind their own business.

The jobs boss the people around.

Nature just be nature. Cold, dark, wet, bright. Unpredictable.

Sometimes the thunder tries to scare all the people. Give em some sort of wake up call.

But no one believe a thing you tell em anymore. Nothing scare a person these days. Too many rumors about when the world gunna end. They just laugh about it by now.

They call it a 'mad world.' Came up with that on their own.

Pictures of Journals

Air has never tasted like life.
Until I left an infested hospital.
Until I realized how stale the smoke
Feels in my lungs.

Still isn't reason enough to convince me not to take another drag.

A few more green lights.
A few more hours to empty the night.

You can't follow me and hide behind a building at the same time.

I can feel you lurking in the cracks,
Pausing in the alley ways behind.

Like reading over my shoulder,
It's that same feeling.

Like being watched by something you can't see. Chills.

The point is, what is the point?

Anxiety Room

I wonder if I really need you.

Question it.

My army is always set to face you.
I curl up inside and lay behind them.

And as soon as the yelling is over,
An upheaval of rage stirs inside me.

And I can't surrender, or be still.
There's a sharp pain in my heart.
A sharp pain in my lung.

I just need out.
The walls are closing in.
My heart is palpitating.

The time to stand awaits.
Another door breaks.

Everything inside,
Attacking myself.

Wish You Would Meditate

Your heart doesn't have a beat.

You are a picture without the frame.

The song without any lyrics.

The voice that's only speechless.

You are the missing necessity.

Here but absent. Tragedy.

And you think we don't see you leave,
Or that we wish you'd stay.

Why do you choose to be invisible?

The Dagger I Cant Pull Out

You can weave between the pages
You can inject a needle.

You can cut me open,
Start operation.

You can fly a plane across the world,
You can hide underground.

You can send me letters and words.

But you can't make me believe in love.
Maybe there used to be some sort of drug that was sold, and that was love.

Or birds set free, and that was love.

But the drugs have been sold and the birds have gone extinct.

And everyone has the other half they need.

But not here. Not this one.
Maybe I used to actually be treated as a human being.

As all the planets align, I fall out of orbit.

As Real As It Gets

I can't be here.

We lay on the surface of concrete and my entire spine caves.

Your eyes twinkle like sun reflecting off water.

If you were an ocean, I would dive into you and never stop swimming.

To the lowest point of the earth, and the deepest, darkest caves.

I wouldn't come out.

I wouldn't leave.

I want to be saved, and then I find another tunnel.
I explore it till I find something inside of me that breaks.

That shouts. That screams.

Because lying here dreaming about a world that doesn't exist,
Is not good enough.

Lying here pretending to be good enough,
Is not good enough.

But if I had a sail boat.
I could learn to sail, and stay afloat on top of it.

I don't need to drown, to die.
I just need to drown, to live.

I'm brave enough to tell you that I don't need a life jacket anymore.

Pretending We Don't Exist

You turn off your life that plays as a video,
And tune into instrumental music.

"Are you okay?" She whispered.
But I don't reply.

I never do.

"What can't you say?"

Nothing.

"What can't you feel?"

Nothing.

In the middle of the soul of me lays a missing piece.
Waiting for it to rain.
Fill me, then at least I can float.

Resuscitate me.
Then at least I can breathe again.

Come close.

Stay.

Then at least I'll believe again.

The Way Things Work

Isn't it funny,
How everyone around you has someone to love.

But you still don't know what that love is.
What that love feels like, or if you ever will.

Isn't it strange,
How solitude has finally rusted into the purity of loneliness.

I've closed my eyes and wished on too many stars, too many candles.

Isn't it odd,
How you have no one to talk to.

And they all have someone to hold their hand,
And ask them what's wrong.

Isn't it ironic,
How everyone is glowing,
And I'm the only one without a light in the room.

When You Find Out Fate Is Real

I think I've lost my voice somewhere underneath.
I think I've been unplugged and stored away, to dust.

I think the world is waiting,
And my sound has gone silent.

I think the oceans are magic,
And I can't bear to be ordinary.

Something is missing.
Something hasn't arrived yet.

I feel an astronomical gap,
Black and empty and waiting.

And I can't find the yellow to fix it.

I don't want to live in a single place.
I want the surrounding of clouds and landscapes.

Of architecture and secret escapes.

I don't need a familiar face or a cup of coffee
To feel I am at home.

Just airports, airplanes, and thousands of feet off the ground. 

Coast Lines

You haven't seen me since the sun set.

But you still walk past me in my dreams.

Even if it's just for a split second.

And I'm laughing and smiling in your stare.

And thats the last glimpse you'll ever see of me.