Burnt Out

The frost kicks in, and kills the heat.
Every ability starts to feel dysfunctional.
Even the ability to breathe.

Everything real starts to feel like a lie, and I wonder if it's me included.

Every feeling starts to feel like nothing.

And nothing is alive anymore.
I say sometimes that I wish I could stop existing.
Stop sleeping.
Stop.

Battling the same situation, the same questions in unending circles
takes the power out of you.

And like a light, I have burnt out.

Helpless

I would help you. I want to help you, fix you, guide you, walk with you.
Share secrets, stories, fears, dreams, helpless thoughts, doubts and traumatic memories.

But I walk alone And I suppose I choose to be that way.

Because the truth is, I'm not really here. And I don't know how to help myself.

Good Enough is Never Enough

We give our all, and it gets tossed away. We give our hearts and they get broken. It’s as if we will never live without pain. It’s consistently there, fighting with everything we only hope to have.

Unable

I hate that I miss you this way.
Every part of me feels empty, lonely, waiting.

For someone to come..find me.
I've felt like a girl who's been waiting in silence her whole life.

Longing for someone, longing for love.

I've just lost my trust too many times, lost the faith.
I forget how to believe in people,
because they never believe in me.

Never Seen

You never turned back around.
To look for me.
Never called my name again.

Never asked if I were okay.

But you still echo in my head.
And there is nothing but silence you left between.

It hurts more seeing that I was never seen
At all.

Dissipating

All I want is love,
Love hates me.

Love can't find me.
Love leaves me.

Love is nowhere to be found..

Forgiving

I still think of you.
I wonder if you ever think of me.

You haven't said a word since you left.

You treated me as if we never even happened.

You have been gone ever since,
And it feels like maybe you never even happened,
Maybe you weren't really real..

Just a dream.

Just something living in the back of my mind.

But you took away my hope and trust,
I find difficulty in forgiving.

Surface

For some reason, I think as death as an escape.
Sometimes I want to do it, to myself.

I can't handle this pain that I feel.

Every day. It never ends.
And every time it ends, it always finds a way back.

Maybe if I were over, all this pain that's apart of me would be over too.

If you could give me one reason to live, one word to inspire me, one person to love me and not leave.

If you could just give me help, an answer, a hand.

Maybe you could help me to believe that if my life ends I'd be crying for a way back.

Being at the bottom of the sea is the lowest I could possibly get.
And still, I don't see the surface when I look up.

How to Swim

I couldn't tell you why I left.
I guess I thought it would be an escape.
I guess I  thought I'd find something, and come home happy.

But the truth is, I never was.
I'm still not.

It's a struggle for me to feel what happy feels like,
because mostly all I feel is the pain.

Everywhere I go,
In everyone and in everything.

I thought it would be life-altering.

It wasn't worth leaving behind.
Nothing has changed,
I'm still the same.

But I'm still lost.
I don't know who to reach out to or how.

I don't even know how to save me from myself,
So I live each day in this hopelessness that consumes me

Until I am taught how to swim..

Liquified

Glorious, candle light waking up the dark.

All I could ask for was this place of safety and of love.

Why did you take that away from me?

Melted wax is all that remains in this place of melted hopes, hearts, and dreams.

Everything that you created, became light.

But you were quick to let go, to burn out.

Ashes twinkle in silver moonlight,

I'm off...

To sleep in my imagination,

Because I no longer know if reality, is real.

The Girl Who Lives Asleep

I’d rather live in a dream, it hurts too much to wake up every morning and live each day working, struggling, fighting. With yourself, with others. For happiness, for goals, for wanting things that you can’t have. Most people don’t get the dream. So just live in it. And don’t ever wake up.

The Rush That Pulls You Down

And if you want to leave me
Leave now.

And if you try to hurt me,
Hurt me now.

But I have guards encircling me before I hit the ground.

And if you want to run,
You better start now.

This is as alive as you're going to get.
With every breath, withdraw what needs to be gone.

You aren't lost,
You just don't see the way out.

I Guess We'll Cut This Short

I need to tell you something before you go.
So don't leave without saying goodbye.

Key

I don't think I'd want you as more.
But I don't want you as less.

You have a meaning, to me.

You mean something.

You're a friend, but you're more.
You have given me something, brought me something.
With our conversations being apart of my day,
there is much I have gained.

I remember what friendship is.

Thank you for providing this key to me.

Hey You

I'm trying to find you,
I'm trying to know
Who you are.

I wish I knew if you felt the same.
You talk to me, and you heal me.

Everything you say, hits a trigger.

And I wonder if it could mean anything.

I wonder how you wonder.
I wonder how you think, how you feel, how you hurt.

Do we think the same?
Do we feel the same?

Do I help you, how you help me?

Either way, it doesn't matter because you're leaving..

Just like everyone else, you will be gone
You will be vanished.

I don't know how I'll feel,
But I know I'll be missing you.

Is there Anyone

If I should fall

If I should break

If I should be the only one who I see

Sitting alone with me

However long that may be

I push you all away

So now Im the one to blame

I never let you take what you could

From my heart or my soul

Everything ive ever had

Ive locked somewhere inside of me

For no one to know, or see, or share

The silence that guides me

So where will you be?

Is there anyone?

Is there anyone waiting for me?

Ive tried to break these walls

But they’ve only captured me from setting free..

Mute

Everything I do
Leaves you disappointed.
You sit there shaking your head at me,
And I am exploding inside.
I continue to stay silent..

I don't know
What I need to say anymore.

So I won't say anything at all.

The Ultimate

It's okay to hurt.
Okay to cry.
Okay to feel.
Pain, sadness.

It's okay to quit.

It's okay to dream.

It's okay.

Now go, soar.

Endless Dreams In A Sun lit World

Life is full of not only beauty but of people and places. Families and friends. Laughter and happiness. Loneliness and sadness. Cultures and celebrations. Mountains and oceans. Rainfalls and sunshine. Someone needs help somewhere. Anyone could help someone anywhere. Use your spark. Never stop dreaming, and dream from your heart. No matter what someone thinks or says. Chase after whatever is screaming inside of you. Life is too short and there is never a right time. So start running now. Take pictures, learn lessons, share yourself. Find yourself. Love yourself. And finally, love others. Love someone. Let yourself go completely. Glare into sunsets, watch the sunrise. Explore the entire world. Whatever you are waiting for, is waiting for you. So, don't wait, take a breath and go. Let go. Live fully and do everything which holds your heart. Nothing is impossible only if you let it be. You have a soul full of sunlight, so let it shine in this world. And don't let anyone block it out. Light overcomes darkness. And you are golden. Filled with golden dreams.