To be honest, I personally hated High School. People are insecure, immature, mean and overall just...lost. I was always alone during breaks and lunch. I often wondered if there was something wrong with me, and why I never had someone to sit with or go out to eat with. I would wonder all on my own trying to kill time day after day for four years. It felt like it would never end. Like most teenagers I had my own self esteem issues that got me down and most of the time I felt dazed and confused. About everything. Things that I dont even think about, now. My question to everything in existence was "why?" I couldn't grasp an understanding of life or myself. But in the blink of an eye High School did end. I made it, I survived and well graduated. Just the fact that I completed and succeeded felt like a huge accomplishment because I struggled through most of it not school-wise, but mentally, and emotionally.
I am now in my first year of college. I am in a relationship. I am confident with my independence and myself. I know who I am, and I like who I am. These are sentences I never thought i'd speak. High school is just one hell of a waiting room. When your out life really does begin like they told you. Your a totally different person. Your older, wiser, stronger. You find the happiness you were searching for all throughout your adolescence. You find answers, maybe not to life but within yourself. And once you find yourself that is when you become content with everything and everyone in your environment. Things actually start to make sense. Giving up, quitting. These two things are not worth doing.
Everyone has potential if you apply yourself. I learned that "can't" is a word that will not get you anywhere and it shouldn't have to be a word to define anything. Don't apply that word to yourself because you CAN. If you don't believe how will you succeed?
Have belief in yourself, in your dreams and your goals. Strong belief will become reality. It is all in the mind which YOU control. Never give up, before you do consider all options and ask yourself if you have even tried. Tried everything there possibly is to try. Seek answers, seek advice, seek within yourself. Doing that, and knowing that and having that ability will let and help you know everything there is to know. Lonely, will not be lonely if you know and are comfortable with who you are.
I am sitting alone typing this right now, half an hour till my next class. You know what? I am perfectly content with it. I dont feel hopeless, or empty. And I am certainly not questioning if there is something the matter with me just because I dont have an acquaintance next to me. That will not solve your problems. Learn to love yourself, because if you don't how will another learn to love you?
I do not hold all the answers or secrets to the world, but that is why I want to go out into the world and explore it, travel it, witness all there possibly is to see. Breathe. I want to feel every emotion in every humanly possible way. That is what helps you grow more so. For every time you get lost, you will find yourself, or rather you will find something. I can guarantee that, as long as you are paying attention, and you will start to see and gather and notice the things you have found. The things you have searched for, and the knowledge you have gained.
Be alert, be alive. Most importantly... be happy.
I dont know that there is a reason for everything, but I most definitely try to believe in that.
I try to believe that the sun shines for a reason, the same as why we are here, what we are doing here, what we are for, where will we go?
It's is not a matter of knowing, this life. It is the matter of being here and making the most of every moment and every day. Time is moving, quickly. We are moving quickly. Hold on to the sight of the stars and the wind in the atmosphere. I recognize that something is here. You will start to feel that way too, you can.
I do not believe there is one single word which is to define life or the meaning of it. It is. That is all I can say, it just is, and we just are. Maybe others will understand that, maybe others wont. But that is what I have to say, that is what I feel.
I feel like there is music playing in the background, like there are secrets hiding behind the clouds, between dreams and within sleep.
Never let go of anything you passionately and infinitely believe in, because it is real and it is apart of you. Don't lose yourself.
Some tides may break and others may be swallowed, just know that you are apart of the world, you are existing so let yourself exist, and feel and live.
Your thoughts can whisper danger,
that will follow you everywhere you go.
But remember the world, remember where you are standing.
Hold on to everything that you are.
Every part of you matters, even if it doesn't to somebody else.
It matters to something, to somewhere.
It matters to this place you were brought to,
Long after you are gone
there will be silence of you,
shades of you.
I can hear the music in the background.
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