ANYWAY,
Over half a year ago I had my heart broken by someone who meant the world to me, I just meant nothing at all to them. The feelings were not there in return, so my love was not accounted for, I didnt matter. I was nothing. At all. I tried to force myself to move on for years, but I couldn't..which eventually lead to my heart being broken once I had the courage to tell him how i felt.
No one helped me through my heartbroken process, no one ever talked to me, listened, asked what was wrong, gave advice, I suffered in silence. No one that I know, not even the people I live with has ever heard the words, or the story inside of my head, I dont know what it sounds like when I say it out loud, or cry it out loud. I have only cried to myself, I have only heard what is in my head written down on paper, and I have only heard my thoughts keep me up through restless nights of brutal endless crying.
So, I just wanted to post a topic, an article, just something I have an urge to talk about which is "Heartbreak". I have a sister who is going through exactly what I went through. I know how to help, but I cant do anything. She doesnt want the help. She wont talk. She doesnt want anything. or anyone. She has blocked herself from feeling anything at all, I know exactly where she is cause I was there once too, the difference is, there was no one to guide me. No one ever even offered to help. Even though I knew there were people around me that love me unconditionally, I wanted more than anything for someone to ask me, talk to me, anything. Even if I didn't open up. But no one did. I never asked either. I dont know which bothers me more, the fact that i dont acknowledge help, or the fact that people dont come to me and I dont know why..
I felt unwanted most of my life. Even though I have an amazing family. And alot of times I think i'm the only one who believes in myself, but that is all that matters. I found myself, I know who I am, and I am comfortable. I am happy. Now.
I understand heartbreak is a hard thing to deal with. But I seriously encourage people to act on seeking help, because I never did. That wasn't healthy. I mean, I'm fine now. Ive come such a long, long way. I never thought I would move on, or move out of the black hole which I fell into. But here I am. Existing outside of it. That pleases me. I did it on my own. See, now I understand my sister doesn't want the help, but that just hurts me to not be able to help her. It's frustrating. Heart break is definitely something you have to deal with on your own though. And I say that because I did it on my own and I discovered so much. Not only about myself, but about life. The thing is you spend your whole life searching for happiness, or searching for something and you dont even know what it is your searching for. THAT was me. I even started going to church at one point because I thought I was searching for God. I did EVERYTHING. I looked everywhere. I realize I looked everywhere except for within myself. I was avoiding my emotions, my problems, me. It was when I looked in and saved myself that my entire life changed, and I changed for the best.
The biggest problem is that people are ignorant. And not only to others but to themselves. That is wrong, it's unhealthy and it will just make you unhappy. The thing is you dont even realize your doing it. I had a conversation with a friend that woke me up, and helped me see. Her words to me? "Let yourself out." And that is the best advice I had ever been given. I wont forget it.
I once read in an article that when someone is heartbroken don't take it as an exaggeration, and feel sympathy. When you are heartbroken your brain works the same way as when you get an injury and you start to feel actual, real physical pain. Sad, isn't it? When someone tells you that they're heart is broken they mean it, literally.
When your in love your brain works opposite, it produces chemicals (dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin) which gives you a high. But don't mix falling in love with lust, or infatuation. They are completely different. I feel the media and society is so chaotic and has blinded everyone with so many different messages, that love does not even have the meaning it should have anymore. It's brainwashing, but people thrive on the media not even realizing the huge negative influence it has on everyone and everything.
Sorry for my rambling, I didnt mean to distract off the topic. Heart break is a very strange distress. It's not only mental, but emotional, physical, just in general you are distressed as a whole. You dont know what you are doing. I describe it as if the person is in a trance, and they start to not care about anything. Not even themselves. It is a huge process... There is no cure to a broken heart, but as time passes, wounds heal. Over time you step stones. And once you get across the river, don't look back, dont regret, dont hurt. Just accept what has happened, who you are and everything now. The thing with heart break is the person doesnt see beyond what they are in, its like the black hole is the only thing that exists. Its not.
I believe people have the power to help themselves, everyone has the answers within themselves, it just seems it's always the last place people look. But so much can cause that, there can be so many reasons for why. I just say that if you believe in yourself, find yourself..you will be okay. No one listens. Listen to your heart. Breathe.
Let yourself out.
Healing is a process, no one can do it for you. No one can "fix you", you can only help yourself. Don't rely on others when you have just discovered that they can only hurt you.
you know what is wrong, you know what to do, start as you mean to go on.
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