Rejection hurts like hell,
I dont even know if this pain will ever subside.
I want to know, and believe it will but,
right now this hurt is all that I can feel.
I have numbed everything
from ever letting me feel again.
There is far too much to feel
It could never be put into words.
I poured my heart out,
Im all out of words,
Im all out of love,
Im all...out.
I wish I had a positive note,
I guess I can just say
Every endings a new beginning.
Right now I want to dissapear,
but I know this wont last forever.
Everything is temporary.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
woahhh I haven't posted in a week. So I guess ill start by saying whats been going on.
Well, August 30th, I was working and I said goodbye to Andrew cause it was his last shift. As you may know he is off to Kingston to go to Queen's University. Crazy. It was the first goodbye I said to someone going off to school. We arent close or anything but it still affected me to know that these people are going off to school now and the next part of their lives begin. and im here taking a year off and Im lost and scared. I dont know where I am, where to go, where to start?
I wish someone would just point me in a direction. What is this strange transformation stage? Whatever this metamorphosis is, I dont like it.
But, I guess thats why I am taking a year off, to figure things out. To find out and discover, to travel and learn and have time. Time for myself, time to make plans, work and make moneh. I dont know, Its really an unexplainable feeling. Unless your going through it. This weird phase of leaving one part of life and starting another: um, help. Ya its a scary thought but it'll all be okay. I know that, i just forget sometimes...I guess.
So thats mainly been where my mind has been at mentally everything else is the same old same: life, family, work, sitting around, reading occasionally, sleeping in till 2 pm and going to bed at 4 am.... ya pretty much. I dont know whats happened to my sleeping patterns this summer. One day i wont sleep a wink and the next I sleep half the day.
I dont know. but I think its time I hit the sheets, get some rest, take a break from my insanity, as my mind goes into subconcious mode.
night!
Well, August 30th, I was working and I said goodbye to Andrew cause it was his last shift. As you may know he is off to Kingston to go to Queen's University. Crazy. It was the first goodbye I said to someone going off to school. We arent close or anything but it still affected me to know that these people are going off to school now and the next part of their lives begin. and im here taking a year off and Im lost and scared. I dont know where I am, where to go, where to start?
I wish someone would just point me in a direction. What is this strange transformation stage? Whatever this metamorphosis is, I dont like it.
But, I guess thats why I am taking a year off, to figure things out. To find out and discover, to travel and learn and have time. Time for myself, time to make plans, work and make moneh. I dont know, Its really an unexplainable feeling. Unless your going through it. This weird phase of leaving one part of life and starting another: um, help. Ya its a scary thought but it'll all be okay. I know that, i just forget sometimes...I guess.
So thats mainly been where my mind has been at mentally everything else is the same old same: life, family, work, sitting around, reading occasionally, sleeping in till 2 pm and going to bed at 4 am.... ya pretty much. I dont know whats happened to my sleeping patterns this summer. One day i wont sleep a wink and the next I sleep half the day.
I dont know. but I think its time I hit the sheets, get some rest, take a break from my insanity, as my mind goes into subconcious mode.
night!
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