Fainting Spells

How to arise from a shell
That just keeps breaking.

Shattering, into smaller, and smaller slivers.

Soon they'll just decay.
Almost invisible to sweep up.

I just keep diving,
Even past the ones trying to catch me.

Because I won't let myself be rescued.
I just keep trying to fall...

The Eating Illness

The nausea stirs inside of me,
Every thought i've ever held back.
Trying to execute me.

The whole world is spinning.
It may just collapse on me now.
Even in the silence,
Where I pretend to see the stars.

Sometimes I wish they'd take me.

Being inside of myself,
Is like being buried alive.

I told you I couldn't breathe.
To stay away from me.

You're help is as little as a shovel.
I just want to rest in peace.

The Reflection

I wonder why I cry everytime I think of him or hear from him. 
Why all of a sudden it throws me off, 
like a hurricane tearing a tree right out of the ground. 

Raphael

I've waited for you,

Much too long.

The saving grasped my energy

And reattached it to my body.

An aura expanded and out of range.

The eight little angels gather.

They poke and whisper, and tell me I am worthy.

The universal guidance can free me,

All I have to do, is breathe.

Seasons of the Poet

In the midst of seasons
Cold beverages to warmth
The soil of the earth changes.

The sound of a spoon clinks
In the stirring of a coffee cup.

A typewriter becomes a life,
From one setting or another.

Please feel what is it to be lost,
Just to feel what it is 
When you have the view to look up
After falling so low.

I don't plan to sleep.
The struggle found a part of me,
And that part of me
Is present, glowing.

If you ever lose love, look to the sky
And ask for the guidance
To be lead back to it.

Energy Angels

I couldn't tell you where the sound came from.
I just tried to get up off the floor.
Gravity turned magnetic.
I escape the gate above my head,
And ascend to the universe.

I have become a lotus flower,
Reaching through an entrance
With a light in my heart.

Homicide

Dagger to heart,
The sun burns the Earth.

I forget how to feel,
Till the pain, rains.

Too much at once,
Or nothing at all.

When all the broken turns to bleeding:
"Why couldn't you just love me?"
I am simply not enough.

When nothing turns to empty,
It doesn't matter just as much.

Someone said that grey will turn to silver.

One Word Answers

I never knew how to pray,

On knees or tucked away.

A universe that stays the same.

Captures all but sane.

And permanent rain 

Cannot find a way to decrease.

We just try to bloom,

Fight to lose.

Walking uphill,

Still don't know the view

At the edge of the cliff.

Lo Stile Di Vita Italiano

I long for the sunny days,
And Tuscan landscape.

Breezes so still you can barely feel them.

Grape juice in oak wood barrels,
And gold enhancing skin.

Love so sweet, it transforms to sugar.
Voices so soft, they all sound like whispers.

And something as plain as water,
Tastes as pungent as espresso.

Tears to drink.
Pictures to take.

We'll all get lost in the wine we make.

Schizoid

Your eyes were like a copper field,
My breath just a field of grey.

I drew you in without an exhale,
Like wind captured in a bottle.

I wanted to be nothing more than a mere shadow.
And that's what I became.

No one even heard of me.

But when I shattered the glass that held you,
I swear, the entire world knew.

Biology

We're only exploring membranes.

I want to explore a heart.

A Wounded Landscape

There's a crack in the cliff I've been sleeping in.

The darkness pulled together,
Magnetic and synthetic.

But if the earth can tear apart
Just enough for me to fall in.

It will tear apart again.
Let me out.

Breathe. Ascend.

The Anhedonist

The sea lit up.
Your love hit the bottom
Of the ocean floor,
And circulated beneath the waves.

I was the only one who saw it.
And thought that maybe I hadn't.

Like a coin tossed for luck,
You are the amulet I wished for.

I just never observed these waters from above.
I was lost in overcast.

Now I'm just the remains,
Of what once was stone.

Hold Your Hand

Dark rooms and laying.
Smoking and swaying.
Driving without reason.

The habits we create for replacing nothing.
I once knew trust.
But it has never been a friend.

And my mind plays with guitar riffs,
Like trees dance with wind.

Meditating within instead of without thought.

I swim through tangled webs.
Struggling, scared I will soon drown without air.

But I refuse to keep it simple.
This is the place Ill always be,
if you try to look for me.

But you can't enter somebody's hell.
Only your own.

Some find the exit door and lock it.
I keep away, and turn to shades.

Because even when the shades are down,
And I cant't see the sun.
It somehow shines outside each window.
Beating on frigid glass.